Ebb and flow…

Being  a lover of words, and very much in love with my, life I have a great appreciation for the concept perceived by the words, “ebb and flow”.

“I watched the ebb and flow of the waters’ edge…sometimes it touched my toes.”

…and so I came to understand ebb and flow to mean coming and going…forward and back.  Lovely way to express that concept of opposites, simple and poetic.  I filed it for future reference.

Today I Need to write, and the only words that reverberate in my head are those exact words, ebb and flow, ebb and flow…I am present in the ebb and flow of my life.  I am aware and present in the ebb and flow of my feelings, my passions, the moon…

Ebb and Flow…ebb and flow….

Ebb: to flow back or away, as the water of a tide,  or,  to decline or decay; fade away.

Flow: (there are nore than a dozen meanings for this word. Among them…) to stream or well forth,  to proceed continuously and smoothly, to abound in something, to rise and advance, as the tide.

Gorgeous words…and full of wonderful meaning.  Life is an ebb and flow. God has created it that way.  It can change so quickly, rushing me forth to new experiences, new inspiration, new people…then in an instant, I  am seemingly pulled away, returning sometimes over things that had already been left behind.  Diminishing, moving backwards…

Or so it seems.  I am never going backwards, really.  Time is constant, perpetual. Moving back, or, even standing still are illusions of the mind.  Beyond that they are self imposed illusions.  The idea that I have stopped, receeded or failed are ideas that have been created in my own head – often, they are the result of somoene else’s judgments and perceptions of my reality, judgements or perceptions that I believe.  Or better, my judgments and  perceptions of someone else’s reality.  Mostly someone else’s vision or definition of success.

Always I must remember:  His reality can never be my reality.  It is impossible to know everything about someone else’s reality, so why would I choose it? I cannot have someone else life, instead, I must create the best vision of my own.  It is absolutely vital to set my own path, create my own life story filled with my own wisdom, abundance and success. I cannot allow Her to decide for me what is right or best for me. What I must do is know myself,  know what I want in this life and why I want it and then move…onward, forward.   I create my flow…

No human life is without struggle, obstacles and pain.  It isn’t easier for anyone.  We all get our share. Yesterday, today or tomorrow, we’re all working through something.

A self-made life is one where growth and change are evident, even pursued, with intention.  Without struggles I’d never strive.  Without obstacles I’d never know the extent of my capabilities.  Without pain could I properly recognize joy?  Would peace of mind be peace of mind in the total absence of discord?

I had to learn the meanings of these words, identify the feelings before I knew what they were.  I had to learn myself through the experiences to know I could come through on the other side having grown a little more, acquired more wisdom.  I had to allow my heart to break…to know that when it mends, it grows bigger and stronger…making room…ebb and flow, ebb and flow…

When it seems that I am standing in one place, slowing down or getting especially anxious or impatient I know I need a moment to really call a stop.  I am aware that it is all in my head…and sometimes my head just talks too damned loud.  Nonsense and foolishness that I’ve accumulated on my journey.  Ideals and perceptions that belong to the people I keep with me or ideas and perceptions that I keep alive with my memories, ones from the past.  Judgments that I have to pass through dark,  cobwebbed doors,  to get over…I’m so annoyed when they appear with the cobwebs every time…

I know all this already.  I know it doesn’t serve me to do the same things over and over, to think the same way in different circumstances, to get caught up in the illusion. Just stop, embrace the ebb…

Let it all go.  Ebb and flow, ebb and flow…

When the tide takes me back, I try to carry with it whatever I have that I no longer use.  When I feel like my energy is low, that I’m lonely or sad, when I don’t want to do anything more than sleep…sometimes I fucking sleep! Hell yes, mid week or not.  Who do I serve?  After all…

It is when I am low that I give myself the most time with myself.  I give myself more time with God.  So I can understand what pulls me back, and I can leave it behind and flow again…onward, forward.

That’s life, ebb and flow, ebb and flow…so what am I rushing? Why am I rushing?  Sometimes it’s cool to just float, with the absolute certainty that life with send me forward again…in the direction of my choosing.  If I’m really paying attention, then I notice that more often than not, the ebb is as nurturing as the flow is powerful.  Thus, the entire journey is wonderful.

I can only know me…and I know that I can smell the roses on the way or catch them on the way back but I must smell the roses. I will smell the roses. Life taught me how….and its been an excellent life.

Ebb and flow…Man, ebb and flow.

Be back soon.

Love and Light and God’s Blessings.

Tashe